'Bonding', 2019

So I was bored this weekend and perusing Netflix for something fun to watch - when I noticed ‘Bonding’ (2019). This TV show created by Rightor Doyle is about Pete, a young gay man and stage-shy comedian, who picks up an extra job as a dominatrix’s assistant. The dominatrix is Tiff, an old high school friend of his, and a grad student studying psychology by day.

When I saw the show, I thought to myself: bondage and dominatrixes? A queer man as the main character? What could go wrong? The answer is - a lot. Both of the main characters seem realistic - perhaps too realistic to even be likeable. Pete is relatably shy and awkward, but gradually begins to come off as whiny and somewhat infantile as the show continues. And while Tiff’s bitchiness is not only acceptable but enjoyable when she’s playing an in-command, powerful dominatrix, she’s also icy and closed-off in the rest of her scenes. Aside from the characters, the actual subject material of the show seems mishandled. I was looking forward to learning more about BDSM and what it’s like to be a dominatrix, but the show feels voyeuristic - like it just wants to try and titillate the audience, rather than actually show the ins and outs of sex work.

The five words I’d use to describe this TV show: bawdy, attention-grabbing, but problematic

My queer take: I feel like this show seemed like such a brilliant idea - and then went wrong in so many ways. I don’t want to bash the work of male filmmakers, but I think the show wouldn’t have felt as male-gaze-y if it had been directed by a woman (and definitely would have been more accurate if they had consulted real sex workers/dominatrixes). The show has been slammed by those in the BDSM industry - but it also holds an 80% approval rating by both critics and audiences alike on Rotten Tomatoes. On the plus side - if you do decide to watch the show, each episode is only 14 minutes long, so you could finish it all in one night.

Quote: “Don’t f*cking write a comedy where you haven’t consulted sex workers clearly on the writing. No sex worker would write comedy like that. You want a funny comedy? Get a bunch of sex workers to write down the shit they talk about in strip clubs. Sex workers are fucking funny, you don’t have to not include them to make a fucking comedy.” - Jessica Nicole Smith, a dominatrix in Montreal

(Not-so-)fun fact: Netflix has also been criticised for having the show's Twitter account run by the fictional dominatrix portrayed in the series, as many real sex workers have had their accounts removed or restricted by Twitter.